The End, The Middle, The Beginning
by xyber116
Summary: Karen finds herself in a position that will change her life forever. Then when things look the darkest, someone is there to help.
1. Bitterness

A/N: CAUTION, there are SPOILERS in this fic. I took the ones that I had read and put a twist to them.

* * *

She could not be pregnant. She just couldn't. Her life was just starting to take off, and while children were something she wanted, not now. Especially not now.

But all of the signs were there. She was tender, she had skipped a period, and certain smells would set off her stomach. In truth, she hadn't given the first two symptoms much thought, but it was the last one that caused her concern. She just knew something was wrong. In her mind, she kept repeating that she couldn't know for sure until she took a test. So, when it was positive, she refused to believe it.

Outright refused to believe it. That's why, a day later, she was missing rehearsals and sitting in a doctor's office. They had taken a blood sample and the results would be in later that afternoon. In the meantime, she was chewing her nails to the quick, in worry. It wasn't a natural habit for her, but she figured it was better than pulling her hair out.

At 4 PM, she finally decided to drop in on rehearsals just to check up on any new notes. When she walked in, she pretended to be a little sicker than she really was for appearance and sat towards the back. But Derek spotted her due to his sixth sense and raised an eyebrow at her. He had been ignoring her for the last few weeks and she had been avoiding him just as equally. Instead of holding his gaze, she dropped her head to pretend that there was something important on her phone.

Not even 20 minutes later, her phone actually did ring; it was the doctor's office.

"Hello?" she answered quietly while she made her way out of the theater and into wardrobe for some privacy.

"Is this Miss Karen Cartwright?" the woman on the other end asked.

"Yes, that's me," Karen answered.

"Miss Cartwright, your blood test came in, and congratulations you're pregnant," the woman said with an enthusiasm that was escaping Karen. "Would you like to set up an appointment with the OB GYN?"

"Ummm.." was the only sound out of Karen's mouth. She was starting to feel light headed and the woman's words sounded muffled. "Not right now," she managed to say.

"Alright, have a nice day," the woman said before hanging up.

Karen felt the phone slip out of her hand and heard it hit the floor. Then she sensed the blood drain from her face and her knees go slack. But before she hit the floor, a pair of strong arms encircled her waist and sat her down on a nearby box.

She looked up to find Derek's eyes staring down at her with concern.

"Thanks," she squeaked out.

"You alright?" he asked.

"No," she said and her eyes welled up with tears that threatened to spill over.

"Oh god," said Derek while rolling his eyes. "Don't start crying just because I touched you."

"No, it's not that," she said as her lips started to quiver. "I'm pregnant," she blurted out.

Her admission made Derek's knees go weak as well, and he ended up sitting down next to her.

"Well, shit," was his response. Karen wasn't his to worry over, but he still cared for her.

"Yeah," she said in a stupor.

"Is it Jimmy's?" he asked.

"Yeah," she repeated.

"Double shit," he voiced. On impulse he reached over to take her hand and give it a squeeze. Karen clung to his hand like a lifeline. "Do you know what you want to do?" he asked.

"I literally just found out. I haven't even talked to Jimmy," she confessed.

"If this was the ideal situation," he said. "What would you want to do?"

"Keep it," she said with a tiny smile. The ideal situation for Karen was a loving husband and a nice home. She didn't necessarily need a white picket fence but a Brownstone would do.

"That's what you do then," he told her with a reaffirming squeeze.

"That's unusual advice coming from a man who dislikes children," she said.

"It's not my life or child," he said. "If I were involved, it might be different. But I'm not. You have to do what's right for you."

"How do I tell Jimmy?" she wondered. For some reason, talking to Derek had calmed her down.

"You have to find him first, darling," he said. Jimmy had taken off a week earlier in a drug fueled rage. Kyle had no luck in finding him, and Derek had been forced to get a replacement.

"My parents," Karen wailed. "They are going to kill me; they feared what the big city would do to me and now this." She buried her face in her hands and unintentionally brought Derek's hand up as well.

"Darling, people in small cities get pregnant by accident all the time," he tried to reassure her that it wasn't that bad.

"What am I going to do for work?" she asked. "I'll have to give up Hit List and Broadway. I'll have to move back to Iowa!" she exclaimed. She felt her heart rate spike. Just minutes ago she was calm, and now she was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Take a deep breath darling," he said. Derek had dealt with panic attacks before. Granted it was usually actresses about to go on stage, but he figured he could handle this situation as well.

Karen breathed in through her mouth and out through her nose.

"Good," he encouraged her. "Listen, I won't let you move back to Iowa. We'll figure out something. I promise. Okay?"

Karen nodded her and continued with the breathing.

"That's enough. You can't do too much or you'll pass out," he advised. "Feel better?"

"Yes," she said.

"You have to take this one step at a time," he said. "What's the first logical step?"

She sat there a moment deciding what needed to be tackled first.

"Deciding what I want to do with the child," she said "But I already know the answer."

"And you're sure?" he asked.

"Yes," she asserted. "No matter what."

"Alright. What's next?" he prompted.

"Call my parents?" she asked.

"Probably," he chuckled lightly at how terrified she looked at having to talk to them. "After that?"

"Arrange for some doctor appointments. Then try to find Jimmy," she said. "Somewhere in there I need to have a conversation with Ana about all of this."

"Besides finding Jimmy, it shouldn't be too hard. There will probably be more things that need to be done but not at the moment," he said and squeezed her hand one final time. He released her and went to stand but she stopped him.

"Thank you Derek," she said softly. "You didn't have to deal with this but you did."

"It's not so easy to stop caring about you sweetheart," he answered.

She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.


	2. Termination

A/N: I actually dislike Jimmy's character with a passion so I'm not sure how I ended up writing this. Also, I ended up changing things after 2x12, The Opening Night, aired.

* * *

The day that Karen found out she was pregnant, Kyle, Derek, and herself filed a missing person's report.

Two weeks later Jimmy finally turned up, in the morgue. She was so pissed at him for dying that she couldn't get herself to identify the body. Derek ended up escorting Kyle into the bitterly cold room. The medical examiner pulled the sheet back, and yes, it was Jimmy. Kyle broke down at the sight of his best friend lying on that slab of steel.

Derek held him up long enough to drag him out to the waiting room. Karen was sitting there, nervously bouncing her feet up and down while clutching her purse. One look at Derek and she knew that it was Jimmy in there. She suddenly felt tears flowing down her cheeks at the thought that Jimmy wouldn't be around to see their child grow up. Derek set Kyle down in the chair next to her, and gathered Karen into his embrace.

A detective interrupted the crying group of people by asking if they could give some details on Jimmy. Both Derek and Karen look to Kyle since he knew Jimmy better.

"Yes," Kyle said through his tears and sniffles. He wiped away the snot on the sleeve of his sweater.

"How did you know the victim?" the detective asked.

"He was my best friend," Kyle answers and then asked "How did he die?"

"His blood-work showed a bunch of drugs; primarily methamphetamines but also sleeping pills. We believe he was high but trying to sleep when he overdosed by accident," the detective rattled off the facts in such a cold manner that Kyle began crying once again.

Derek reached over and rubbed Kyle's back.

"Maybe I can try to answer some question," Derek suggested.

"That's alright with me," the detective said. He flipped back and forth through his notebook before finally settling on a page. "The missing person's report listed the vic's last name as Collins but records indicate that his last name was Jones. Could you explain that?"

"We filed the paperwork with the name that we knew him by," Derek answered. He knew Jimmy was living under a different name but he's not going to rat Kyle out for knowing.

At the detective's question, Kyle shrinks into himself and wrapped his arms around his body. He just continued to cry and then started to shake.

"I don't think right now is a good time to keep answering question," Derek said. "How about this, we'll come back tomorrow afternoon. That way everyone is a little bit calmer and we can make arrangements for the body."

"Fine by me," the detective said while handing Derek his business card. "Come by anytime after two and we'll get this taken care of."

"Can I ask one question before you go?" Karen finally spoke up.

"Sure but it doesn't mean you'll get an answer," said the detective.

"If we filed the report with Collins as the last name but his his real names was Jones, how did you make the connection?" she asked.

"After a week of no one claiming the body, we ran his prints. He popped for a juvenile record since he had been arrested for stealing. The examiner ran his profile at that point through missing persons and we got a hit. We probably would have been able to contact you earlier if his real last name had been used instead of an alias," the detective said, and then walked away.

At this point, Kyle wasn't looking too good. His face was pale, he was covered in sweat, and his body continued to shake. Karen wasn't much better off. Her face was pale, like Kyle's, and she was shaking, but not sweating.

Derek decided that he had to take charge of the situation. First he got Karen standing and then Kyle, and ushered them outside. The bright light must have stunned Kyle, because he was suddenly emptying the contents of his stomach on the sidewalk. This caused a chain reaction, and Karen was a few feet away puking as well. Thank god Derek had a strong stomach or he might be bent over as well. Instead, he saw a food vendor down the block and went to buy a few bottles of water.

When he returned, Karen and Kyle were sitting next to each other on the sidewalk. They were several feet away from the human waste they left behind. Derek simply handed them the bottles and both took long drinks of the water.

"Better?" he asked when Karen stopped drinking.

"Yes, thank you," she said. It appeared that only she was feeling better, since Kyle just continued to stare at the crowd passing by.

"Alright," Derek started. "Let's get you both back to my apartment to get some tea down." Derek turned and hailed a cab, while Karen pulled herself together enough to gather up Kyle and lead him to the curb. The ride was short and silent.

* * *

Once Derek had them settled on the couch, he began to make some tea. Thankfully, Kyle has stopped shaking and crying, but he seemed to be in a state of shock. Karen was on the phone speaking to Ana and was asking her to get some items from Jimmy and Kyle's apartment.

By the time Derek brought over the tea, she was finished with the call, but Kyle had remained in the same catatonic position. Derek sat on the end of the couch, but Karen sought him out and curled up into him. He was not expecting this action.

"Kyle?" Derek said. "Can I get you anything? Will you try to drink the tea?"

Kyle didn't speak, he only picked up the cup and took a sip of the hot liquid. Derek figured he will eventually be ready to talk when he wants, so he turned his attention to Karen.

"How are you holding up, darling?" Derek asked. Karen looks over at Kyle, who is still drinking the tea, and turns her face back to Derek. She has a face of uncertainty. "What's on your mind?"

"I'm not sure how I feel," she confessed and he raised a brow at her. "I don't have to worry about him any longer. But I didn't want him dead. My child will never get to know him."

Derek was really out of his element, and determined that simply hugging Karen was the best answer.

"Jimmy wanted kids," Kyle finally spoke. "His father was an asshole but when Jimmy's mother passed away it got worse. He turned to drugs and started beating Jimmy and his brother even more. That's why they ran away. Jimmy and I meet just a few years ago when my parents kicked me out for being gay."

"Kyle..." Karen said, and reached her hand out to him. He took it and began speaking again.

"Jimmy and Adam, the brother, lived and sold drugs together. That's how they made their money," Kyle said while new tears form in the corners of his eyes. "Jimmy did some horrible stuff when he was on the street. He told me all about it and he was going to tell you. He just didn't get the chance. Adam had gotten Jimmy hooked on meth. Jimmy thought it made him a better musician, and I begged him to stop but he wouldn't. He just kept going,"

"What caused him and his brother to split?" Karen asked.

"Over the years, Adam ended up having a kid and one weekend brought him home. But Adam was high, out of his mind. I don't remember what happened but Adam went off on the kid. He was yelling and burning the kid with a cigarette. Jimmy just sat there staring at the whole scene. I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him to stop but Adam turned on me. He beat the crap out of me and the kid as well," Kyle said as tears ran down his face. "That night Jimmy and I left. He stole a lot of money from Adam so we could start fresh."

"Why did he change his last name?" Karen inquires.

"We didn't want Adam to find us. That was over a year ago and Jimmy had been clean of meth since that night," Kyle answered. "I don't have a clue what set him off again."

"I might have an idea," Derek said. "He borrowed eight thousand dollars from me to pay Adam back but I didn't know it was his brother. I thought it was a drug debt. Jimmy was probably feeling a lot of pressure between working, writing songs, and paying me back. I'm sorry this happened Kyle."

At Derek's confession, Kyle began to sob again and his whole body shook.

"Kyle we need to make some arrangements," Karen said after he started to calm down. "Do you know what he would have wanted?"

"No, we never talked about that," Kyle forced out, and he sniffled some more. "Maybe cremation?" Kyle shrugged. "He probably wouldn't want anything big. Besides me, he had no family."

"Let's arrange for cremation for the time being," Derek suggested. "Then we can decide later what to do with the ashes."

"That sounds good," Kyle said, wiping away more tears.

* * *

Ana arrived later and they all ate lunch together in Derek's apartment. Kyle mostly pushed the food around while Karen managed a few bites. However, Derek was able to convince her to drink a protein shake, so she'd at least had something in her stomach. Ana ate but remained quiet through the whole event.

Derek was reluctant to let any of them leave his apartment, but Karen managed to reason with him that she didn't have anything with her.

"Can I come with you?" he asked timidly. "I really don't want you, or Kyle to be alone tonight," he quickly added.

"I'll have Ana, and Kyle will have me," she said. But really, she did want him to come. She just couldn't seem to get herself to say it, so instead she toyed with his collar.

"I guess I could come along and comfort Ana then," he joked, with his trademark smirk.

"I'm not sure how Ana would take your offer of comfort," she said. She moved her hand from his collar to the back of his neck to play with the hairs there.

"Give me 10 minutes darling," he said. "You're not going anywhere without me." He bounded up his stairs to quickly pack a few of his personal things.

Sure enough, he was back in less than 10 minutes, and the group made their way to the shared apartment.

After a few more hours, they all turned in for sleep. Kyle took the living room and somehow Derek ended up in Karen's bed.

"I asked Ana if she needed any comforting," he quipped while lying next to Karen who tucked her head into the crook of his neck. "You were wrong by the way. She said that if you didn't want to be comforted by me then she would take all the British she could get."

"You're such a liar," Karen accused, and managed to produce a small snicker.

"You're right; I'm a huge liar, but I got you to laugh," he pointed out.

"Yes. Yes you did," Karen admitted. "Thank you again Derek."

"No problem sweetheart," he said, and this time he was the one to plant a kiss on her cheek.


	3. Redemption

A/N: This whole fic was born from a single image I had of Derek and Karen together.

* * *

**1 MONTH LATER (3 MONTHS PREGNANT)**

Derek had been her rock for the last month. A very long month. He had held her hand, rubbed her back, and helped her with getting Jimmy's things arranged. Kyle had the bigger burden, but Karen simply couldn't walk away. Derek teasingly blamed her Iowa roots.

But here they were, Karen, Derek, Ana, and Kyle, in Brooklyn. After receiving the ashes, it had taken Kyle awhile to determine the perfect location to spread them. At first, he thought some place musical would be appropriate but the only place Jimmy loved specifically was a piano. It didn't seem like the best idea to put the ashes inside a random piano for some random person to discover at a later date. Jimmy might have gotten a kick out of it, but Kyle couldn't bring himself to do it. They finally settled on a spot overlooking the city that Jimmy had loved. It was hard to come up with words but Kyle knew exactly what to say.

"He was my brother, he saved me, and I will never forget him," Kyle said as he flung the ashes over the spot. Ana escorted him away while Derek and Karen remained. She was having a hard time wrapping her head around the whole situation. Jimmy was dead, she was pregnant, and Derek Wills was being a saint. Hell must have frozen over at some point.

"You alright darling?" Derek asked.

"I will be," she answered and took his hand. Together they walked back to the car to return home.

* * *

**2 MONTHS LATER (5 MONTHS PREGNANT)**

If someone had tried to tell her a year ago what her current situation would be, she would have told them they were insane.

She was in bed, with Derek, fully clothed while he rubbed her pregnant belly. Life really was insane.

This had been their habit for the last few months. They went to work on Hit List, he was still the director but she was now coaching the lead as well as helping the ensemble with vocals. They ate lunch together and sometimes dinner. Other times he had to go out or do work but either way, he was back to her apartment by 8 PM on the dot. She would be exhausted by 9 at night and he would crawl into bed behind her. She was sure he hadn't spent a night in his own apartment for the last 2 months. Surprisingly, nothing sexual had happened, which Karen hadn't expected.

At first she didn't question it. He had somehow become her rock, even more so than her parents. Eventually though, Ana had asked what was going on. But not in a nosy way, just needing to know if she should start buying more supplies. Karen had replied that she didn't know what the hell was happening. Then Ana did something very insightful, she reminded Karen that she had a child on the way and that she better figure it out soon otherwise the child would probably be sleeping on the floor, since she didn't even have a crib yet.

"Derek?" she asked in a hushed tone.

"Hmm...?" was his only response, as he was on the verge of sleep.

"We can't keep doing this," Karen said.

"What? Sleeping?" he asked very confused.

"No, this. You and me," she said.

"Do we have to have this discussion now?" he asked. "How about in the morning, when I'm coherent?" he pleaded.

"Derek, I really need to talk about this now," she said.

"Mhhmmm...alright," he said in agreement. He was willing to have the conversation, but he remained lying with his arm around her waist.

"We can't keep doing this. Acting like we are in a relationship when we aren't," she admitted.

"We aren't in a relationship?" he asked.

"I mean we haven't gone on a date or kissed. Sex hasn't even happened," she said.

"Well, we could do that last one right now if you want," he baited.

"Derek..." she said while lightly slapping at the arm around her. He only chuckled at her response.

"Karen Cartwright," he said. "Will you go on a date with me?"

"Yes," she replied, not even a heartbeat later.

"Good, now can we go back to sleep?" he asked.

"Not yet," she responded. She shifted and turned to face him. Her belly was getting bigger, but she pressed her body as close to his as possible. Her hands moved up to his face and she gently stroked his cheeks.

"Feels good," he murmured.

"Hopefully this will be even better," she said while leaning her head closer until their lips touched. She increased the pressure and he pulled her just that little bit closer with his hands on her waist.

After a few moments she pulled away and he let out a breath he was holding in.

"That was a **whole** lot better," he joked softly.

"Excellent," she said, and stared into his green eyes. In this moment, she had never seen him so open. "I'm scared," she admitted.

"Why?" he asked, bewildered.

"I know your history," she disclosed. "I worry that you'll leave once the baby is born."

Instead of reassuring her with words, he decided to let his actions speak.

He first kissed her forehead, then her mouth, and then moved down to her heart. His final stop was her stomach. He placed several soft warm kisses all over her slightly swollen stomach. She was slightly ticklish and squirmed a bit. He let his eyes connect with hers before speaking to her unborn child.

"I'm not going anywhere," he said. His voice was deep and this gesture expunged her doubts. He moved back up her body to capture her gaze. "Nowhere else I would rather be," he admitted.

"Me neither," she whispered in agreement.

"Superb," he said. "Now can we go to sleep?" he asked in jest.

"Yes," she said as she placed a kiss on his cheek.


	4. Enthusiasm

**4 1/2 MONTHS LATER**

It was well after midnight, and here he was, in the hospital holding his son. His son. Karen had endured 30 long and exhausting hours but their son had finally arrived.

Derek's inner devil was telling him to run but the more he stared at his son, the more he knew he loved this child. This was his son because his name was going on the birth certificate. It was his son because he planned on being there for every moment.

Eventually they would tell their son about Jimmy, but not until he was able to understand what had happened. But for Derek, the biology didn't matter as much as the love he felt for his son.

Derek was still admiring his son when he heard a soft knock on the door. Kyle's head peaked in and looked around.

"Kyle?" Derek whispered from the couch and Kyle looked in that direction before moving towards him. "What are you doing here so late?"

"I'm so sorry Derek. I just couldn't get myself to come earlier," he admitted while sitting on the couch.

"It's okay Kyle," Derek said while wrapping one arm around the young man's shoulder. In the time between now and Jimmy's death, the three of them had grown closer. "I understand this was hard for you."

"Thank you," Kyle quietly said. "How did everything go?"

A diminutive chuckle escaped Derek's throat before he could stop it. It only lasted a brief moment then he looked down at his son to make sure he hadn't woken him up.

"It was long," Derek said with his eyes set on the bundle in his arms. "But Karen was beautiful through the whole thing. And this is our son." Derek opened the blankets so that Kyle could see the face of his son. "7 pounds 10 ounce. All 10 fingers and toes plus a healthy set of lungs."

"That's good," Kyle said before exclaiming in a hushed tone. "Oh, I brought you guys something for his room. It's a mobile that has a headphone jack. That way you can play music from an iPod or whatever. Then when he gets older it's got light patterns and not just the animals."

"That's brilliant," Derek remarked. "Karen, and I'm sure this guy, will love it."

"I'm going to go. I really just wanted to stop in briefly and make sure everything had went smoothly," Kyle said getting up to go. Derek grabbed his wrist just as Kyle was walking away.

"Stop by tomorrow," Derek said. "Karen's parents and a few other people will be here at 10. It will be good."

"Okay, that sounds nice," Kyle said.

"Good, see you then," Derek said as Kyle left the room. While Kyle had made a quiet exit, the sound of the door clicking shut had awakened Karen.

"Who was that?" she asked.

"Kyle sweetheart," Derek answered as he moved to the bed she was in. "He came by for a moment but he'll be here tomorrow."

"Good. How's your son doing?" she asked while holding her arms out for him. She had held and feed him earlier but that was hours ago and before she fell asleep from being drained.

"My son?" he pretended to be offended. "He's your son through and through. You should have heard him earlier when they pricked his foot. He's going to be a signer or something with that set of lungs."

"Our son then. How is our son doing?" she asked.

"Much better. He settled down once he was swaddled," Derek answered while he brushed his fingers through Karen's hair.

"You have to take him back," Karen said and passed the child to Derek. "I'm so sorry. I'm so tired that my eyes won't stay open."

"It's okay. You did all the work," he said as he planted a kiss on her forehead. "Go to sleep. I'll put him down soon. I promise." That was all it took and Karen was fast asleep again.

But Derek stayed up just holding his son close to his chest and then finally when he could no longer hold his arms up he snuggled his son down into the hospital crib.

"I'll see you in the morning little guy," he said before planting a kiss on his son's cheek.

* * *

A/N: I very much dislike it when an author has completed a story and then adds more chapters but here I am doing it. Someone had asked for an epilogue and I suddenly had this idea. I hope everyone enjoyed it and this will be the last chapter for this fic.


End file.
